I’ve Had Two Positive and Unmedicated Waterbirths… But Here’s What I’d Do Differently Next Time

I’m so grateful to have had two healthy and positive birth experiences, but if I were to have another baby, I’d do these three things a little differently.

1. Opt for a home birth

I gave birth in the UAE, where home birth isn’t an option. But in both of my labours, I chose to stay at home labouring for as long as possible, whilst knowing that I couldn’t actually birth my baby at home. I didn’t want to go into hospital too soon because I knew that early labour is more sensitive to starting and stopping and I also didn’t want my labour to be put into time restrictions too early. Now looking back, I can see that because I knew being at home wasn’t my final place of birth, I couldn’t let go and surrender to my labour until I was in the hospital. I was caught in a place of not wanting to travel in too soon, but also not able to let my labour really progress at home. I'm sure I added a good few hours to each labour. Travelling into hospital and then getting used to a new environment and new people often stalls your labour to some extent, and for me personally hospital is somewhere that has always made me feel quite nervous, so I would choose to alleviate that next time, and enjoy staying at home with my home comforts around me. The research and the stats are there showing that for many women and their pregnancies, home birth is a very safe option, and in some cases it can lead to better outcomes. I guess it comes down to where we individually feel safest, because we do need to feel safe to birth our babies.

2. Plan for after birth too…

I had a bit of tunnel vision in my pregnancies on just planning for birth and wanting that to go as well as possible, and I didn’t pay very much attention to the after-birth. Once my babies were born, I felt relief and elation and from then on almost switched off and handed over my power and decision-making. Next time I would think about and plan for what was important to me after birth too, things like-

• Making sure I had truly optimal cord cutting, not just delayed,

• Making sure my ‘golden hour’ was true skin on skin, no hat needed on my baby, and as uninterrupted as possible,

• Prioritising skin-to-skin for those early weeks and months too, not just that first hour,

• Opting for a physiological third stage of labour (birthing the placenta) unless it was medically necessary to have a managed one,

• Educating myself more on what might come up with breastfeeding and where I could find support, and

• Looking into and considering other postnatal support such as a postpartum doula, a cranial osteopath, a woman’s health physio, a lactation consultant, and leaning on friends and family.

3. Forget the due date from the start and instead do this…

I see the emotional stress and pressure that due dates can cause and how this can impact our bodies to not always go into spontaneous labour. It happened to me too - in my second pregnancy, I really hoped my son would be born by a specific date because my husband’s parents were visiting us in Dubai for just a week around my due date, they were desperate to meet their new grandson and could also be there to look after my older son while we were at the hospital. My first son was born the day before his due date, and I felt as if my baby and body would be ready by my due date this time around too - my cervix was already open and I was having contractions each evening. I spent the entire week waiting for and willing my baby to arrive. At the end of the week, my in-laws flew home back to the UK, the pressure and stress I had subconsciously put on myself naturally released, and I went into labour that same day. Our bodies are so sensitive before we go into labour to our emotions and any stresses or worries that we’re holding onto, as they try to detect whether it’s a safe time to birth a baby. Next time, I’d do this:

• Tell friends and family that my due date was two weeks later than the date I’d been given to reduce any pressures coming from them. I’m always surprised by the amount of well-meaning messages that flood in once your due date has arrived asking if the baby is here yet, do you think it will be soon, and wondering why the baby is ‘late’!

• Erase any idea in my mind of there being one date my baby is due, and instead think about a due period of a few weeks when my baby is most likely to be born.

• Take my own advice and not spend the time around my due period waiting for my baby and scrutinising every sensation I have down there, but instead distract myself and put a few things in my calendar around that time; things that I really want to do, that make me feel happy, calm and relaxed.

I would do small things to help encourage my natural oxytocin, not focus at all on the one day given to us as a due date, and have trust that my baby would absolutely come when they are ready, so long as I was ready too.

Every birth and baby is unique. Trust your instincts, stay flexible, and remember that you are worthy of an amazing birth experience - however that looks for you. ♥ ♥

If you’re interested to read about my first birth experience, you can find it here.